I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
