That's intense
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
