yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
