do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My dick has a subreddit
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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