I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
