I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
