some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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