So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Is it because I queefed?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
