She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
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I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
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How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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