In the future we'll all be gay
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
