how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
