I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize