I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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