He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
