We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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