Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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