Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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