note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
