You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
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She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
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I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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