I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
birth control should be required to get into college
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
soo... how was my night?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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