Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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