The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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