we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
