I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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