Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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