We're like a lot better than the average bears
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
