it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
