i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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