I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize