looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
