You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
