is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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