walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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