Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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