This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
