: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
