Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
