I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
