She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
