I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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