I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
