so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
