just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
