Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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