I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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