you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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