He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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