I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wish i was in the wii world.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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