But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
