So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
