if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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