he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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