I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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