i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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