On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
