ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
