i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible