That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Randomize
