you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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