then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
