me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
