That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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